Parkwood "Ace of Cakes" Decorating Contest

We had a fabulous time in our first ever attempt to decorate a cake in a contest..Our Church sponsored by the Children's Ministry held our first annual "Ace of Cakes" decorating contest last night and we entered, begrudgenly by me, but enthusisatically by Nicki...I must say that Nicki deserves all the credit for the outcome..It was her brain child, her hardwork and her use of "fondit" that helped us secure a position in the top 8..We actually finsihed 7th out of roughly 50 participants...and honestly had no expectations as to even if we could decorate a cake like this..But when it was all said and done, We pulled together a decent rendition of what She (Nicki) had in her mind..Three Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed..Each monkey represented one of our girls..We were judged on creativity, teamwork, presentation and design..So we had all three of our girls help and I must say..this was a blast..We had such a fun time doing this and also got to see some very interesting cakes in the end.. My hat is off to my wife for taking the initiative to sign us up, think of an idea and then place things in motion to pull this off.. I am very proud of her and just maybe, after some practice, might have a cake decorator on our hands. Below are some of the pictures...

NOTE: You can double click the photos to see an enlarged image..Please see the Grand Prize Winner in the enlarged image..You will be amazed at the detail..












Here we had to move our cake to the Top 8 Table for final judging!









8th Place (above)



6th Place




5th Place



4th Place




3rd Place



2nd Place





1st Place and Grand Prize Winner (amazing detail)




Random notables that we felt deserved some recognition













EB

"When my Walk become a Crawl"

I need to start this message saying that this is not for the benefit of anyone really except for me..What I mean is that posting my thoughts here today is a meager attempt to provide myself some accountability but also again to chronicle the ups and the downs..I have written over 20 blogs now on this site and I dare to say all have a positive message or neutral at worse..but this message today is to expose the flesh that tries to rise up against my spirit...so a negative tone may persists through out this blog..and for that I apologize..

How can a man who has been transformed by the Grace of God...still have days that make me feel like a Lost soul..I have this little voice in the back of my mind with a giant megaphone screaming at me saying " Man, have you already forgotten just how far away from God you were before He rescued you?".. " How can you allow yourself to slip so easily after experiencing the dramatic heart transplant performed on you?".."What is wrong you with you..?" I share these thoughts because I consider myself to be a man on fire for God right now and have dedicated my life to living the way He desires for me to live..Yet this wretched Body of death I possess has not given up and still tries to RISE UP against my SPIRIT to wage War..One thing is for sure..The Flesh is wicked and will never stop trying to take you down and rule once more..Satan does not take defeat very well and begins to employ his grandest schemes against you..or those who have surrendered to the Lord God..

I have experienced a period of a couple of days where my flesh has been slowly edging its way back to the forefront of my mind and interrupting my ability to serve my Lord and live out my Faith..and this has culminated in a morning that I wish to forget for I allowed my flesh to show anger toward my girls this morning, so much so that it brought tears to their eyes..After seeing them respond to my carnal nature..I was immediately reminded that I was under attack by Satan and that he was trying to destroy the path I have been working so hard laying for them..Now this anger that came out of me originates from some other areas of my life that happened to spill out on them and they did nothing to deserve that..Conviction has engulfed me this morning and brought about shame in my heart and a sincere need to seek their forgiveness and the forgiveness of my Lord...After dropping them all off at school, I proceeded to the gym as I usually do and began my workout and once again I was listening to a song from way back called "What if I Stumble"..and the words were so fitting for me today..I have not felt so unworthy of God's love as I have this morning..and yet this song reminded me that God loves me for who I am, not as I should be..Praise God that is True, because if not I might as well give up because I am so far from who I should be..that if God required that of me, I would be left out for sure..Here are the words to this song

"The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today Is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips Then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.

"Is this one for the people? Is this one for the Lord?

Or do I simply serenade for things I must afford?

You can jumble them together, my conflict still remains

Holiness is calling, in the midst of courting fame

Cause I see the trust in their eyes Though the sky is falling

They need Your love in their lives Compromise is calling

What if I stumble, what if I fall?What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?

Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?

What if I stumble, and what if I fall? What if I stumble, what if I fall?

You never turn in the heat of it all

What if I stumble, what if I fall?

Father please forgive me for I can not compose

The fear that lives within me Or the rate at which it grows

If struggle has a purpose on the narrow road you've carved

Why do I dread my trespasses will leave a deadly scar

Do they see the fear in my eyes? Are they so revealing?

This time I cannot disguise all the doubt I'm feeling

What if I stumble, what if I fall?What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?

Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?

What if I stumble, and what if I fall?What if I stumble?

Everyone's got to crawl when you know that You're up against a wall, it's about to fall

Everyone's got to crawl when you know that I hear You whispering my name

[You say]"My love for You will never change"

Boy Have I ever stumbled..This song is so fitting for my day..because I have stumbled for sure..

Here is what I know..I am a sinful person and the very minute that I think I am not vulnerable to the wiles of the devil I am defeated.. Satan has planted seeds of doubt and discouragement in my heart and mind and if allowed to stay there, they begin to sprout and grow roots..and that is what has happened to me.. I need God daily, every day, through out the day, to renew my mind...to cleanse me..to cultivate my soul and remove all the weeds and thistles..for they are trying to choke out my Faith and steal my Joy..That is exactly what the devil wants..To rob me of the life I can have in Jesus Christ..

The Apostle Paul speaks to this very issue regarding himself and I am reminded of this passage today..

Romans 7:14-25 (The Message)
14-16I can anticipate the response that is coming: "I know that all God's commands are spiritual, but I'm not. Isn't this also your experience?" Yes. I'm full of myself—after all, I've spent a long time in sin's prison. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary.
17-20But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.
21-23It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.
24I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?
25The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

Bitterness is anger turned inward and I must not bow down to this feeling..for it is not of the Father..I heard a very wise man say that Bitterness is an acid so strong that it eats away its own container..It will devour you..Bitterness is at the very root of my issues today and I rebuke this feeling from my soul and ask the Lord God to remove this feeling from me and replace it with HIS goodness..

Strong Enough to be Broken :(

EB

"Apprehending God"

3 Therefore I want you to understand that speaking in the Spirit of God ever says “Jesus is accursed!” and no one can say “Jesus is Lord” except in the Holy Spirit.

This is a very interesting verse because it speaks to our very nature..We in our natural state of being, can not and will not believe in Christ nor say He is Lord..We are without this mere ability to even think it..

(AW Tozer says in the first page of of his book "The Pursuit of God" this..."Christian theology teaches the doctrine of prevenient grace, which, briefly stated, means that before a man can seek God, God must first have sought the man. Before a sinful man can think a right thought of God, there must have been a work of enlightenment done within him. Imperfect it may be, but a true work nonetheless, and the secret cause of all desiring and seeking and praying which may follow. We pursue God because, and only because, He has first put an urge within us that spurs us to the pursuit)

It is thru the power of the Holy Spirit that resides in us that enables us to even speak the words..This is further evidence of our sinfulness and our desire to please self and OUR TOTAL DEPENDENCE ON GOD. Without God's help, we are lost and condemned forever...it is only Thru God's mercy and grace that we are elected to receive the Holy Spirit and then we must respond to it when it comes upon us..So if anyone can even acknowledge Christ as Lord(whether they show it or not)you can conclude they have the Holy Spirit in them..because they don't have the ability otherwise..(this is profound to me)

At the very end of Romans 10 this is what is written
21 But of Israel he says, “All day long I have held out my hands to a disobedient and contrary people.”

This is an extremely prolific statement in that God's own people were rejecting Him, even though His mighty hands were open to them..just amazing

Now the actual message of Salvation..and how sweet these words are

10 For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.

You must believe(have faith) in your heart first before God counts you justified...It must be an inner belief and not some intellectual agreement..and inward trust in Christ...then by professing with your mouth (not being ashamed) the inward reality..comes salvation..This is all dependent on the understanding of the complexities of Christ's death and the truths associated with it...Jesus bearing the sin of mankind and then a resurrection that gave evidence of God's acceptance(approval) of the payment (Christ's work) due God for our utter sin..

(Tozer writes "To most people God is an inference, not a reality. He is a deduction from evidence which they consider adequate, but he remains personally unknown to the individual. He must be they say, therefore we believe He is. Others do not even go so far as this;they know of Him only by hearsay. They have never bothered to think the matter out for themselves, but have heard about Him from others, and have put belief in HIM into the back of their minds along with various odds and ends that make up their total creed. To many others, another name for goodness or beauty or truth")

Incidentally Paul uses the actual word "Believe" a total of 6 times and the word "heart" 5 times in this passage of Salvation for All..verses 9-17..Paul is leaving no doubt as to his message here and works is not part of it..yet the people of Israel ignore him and base their belief from works..

12 For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” - This speaks again to those who call on Him..remember that we don't have the ability to call on Him unless the Holy Spirit resides in us..for it is not possible and not part of our very nature

As I am thinking this thru, the message of the unpardonable sin comes to my mind(no doubt prompted by the Holy Spirit) and remember it says that those who blaspheme the Holy Spirit cant be forgiven..That means those who receive the Holy Spirit and rejects its calling can never enter Heaven..so it leads me to believe that God is generous with the Holy Spirit but obviously not all will heed its calling..and therefore not believe and therefore not be saved...because if you reject the Holy Spirit, you don't have the ability to speak the words "Jesus is Lord" nor the ability to even conceive it in your mind..and if you cant believe and confess, you cant be saved..This is like one big circle in my little ol mind..but this is exactly why this particular sin is unpardonable..because it totally restricts your ability to carry out the other necessary parts of salvation..so in its very definition..blaspheming the Holy Spirit is condemning yourself and leaving no ability to respond any differently than our nature

1) People will call on Jesus to save them only if they believe he can do so; (2) belief in Christ cannot exist without knowledge about him; (3) one hears about Christ only when someone proclaims the saving message; and (4) the message about Christ will not be proclaimed unless someone is sent by God to do so. That is why Paul was so urgent about spreading the gospel to the ends of the earth, for he believed that the only way to be saved was to hear and believe in the gospel..which is the reasoning for the great commission..our directive as believers..to take the message unto all peoples..not to convert them..but merely take the message

And let me conclude with this because this next statement will cause your mind to scramble for the rest of the day( at least it has thrown my mind into a tizzy)..

On the one hand, God predestines some to be saved. On the other hand, God still longs for all to be saved. Though it may seem impossible to understand how both of these statements are true, the Bible teaches both, and one should not use either truth to deny the other.

EB

"Open Me"

This is a song called "Open Me" by Shawn McDonald that says exactly what is on my heart today..I played this song over and over while at the gym this morning and I do not think I could have said it any better..Just perfect for today...

Would You open up eyes, so I can see

Would You open up my ears, so I can hear

Would You open up my mind, so I can know

Would You open up my heart, so could love You more

I want to serve You, my God

I want to give everything

I want to serve You, my King, yeah

I want to serve You, my Lord

I want to give You everything, yeah

Here I am with my arms open wide

Asking for You to come up, up inside

Won't You make me new, won't You make me true

Jesus, won't You make me like You,

ohWill You touch my eyes so I can see

Will You touch my ears so I can hear

Will You touch my mind so I can know

Will You touch my heart so I can love You more

Won't You open me

EB

"Eternal Souls"

Ok...for those of you that may have been following my blogs..this will be no surprise to you..I spoke earlier about how my mind is constantly being bombarded with ideas and thoughts that I would like to share with those who read this and allow me an opportunity to convey into words what is on my heart..and each day it is a lot like "Plinko"..never really knowing where my heart may take me..Many times it is directly to scripture and others about life in general..Well..I want to share a moment with you that will forever be etched in my heart and soul..a moment with my two oldest girls I will cherish and fall back on no doubt many more times and chronicling this here affords me the opportunity to revisit it as often as I like.. I think many times, we look back on our life and forget all the instances that provide us great joy and seem to only remember the times that inflict great pain..but if we will slow down long enough to let life unfold before us and capture those precious moments that may never return..it will inevitably do our heart and our souls much good..so..please allow me to share one of those tender moments..

I was listening to Focus on the Family today and they had a speaker by the name of Dee Breston..I believe her name is..I may have botched that badly but what matters is what she said that caused a mental synapse to take place in me.. She was speaking about rearing children and how God had come into her life at 21 years of age and transformed her and her thinking..The part that hit me and birthed this message is this.. she said ' I was believing a lie...and the lie was I was wasting my life cleaning bottoms and runny snotty noses..but God impressed on me that I was actually nurturing an eternal soul that had been gifted to me".. WOW..nurturing an eternal soul..I cant ever say I have looked at my girls with that perspective..as much as I love and care for them..that has really never crossed my mind..I mean I know I am accountable for my family and I have a vital role in the rearing of my children..but it was always about them..Not necessarily their soul..and the eternal direction I was guiding them..thru example or words, etc.

So then I had a flashback of a moment where God Almighty pointed me to show me what He desires more of from me..So I get this daily email from a site called ALL PRO DADS...(this is a great site for all the dads who might read this http://www.allprodad.com/ )..This particular day, they sent this email and I just want to copy the exact email here so you can see ...

The real you

In a Newsweek interview, actor Johnny Depp said, "When I became a dad for the first time, it was like a veil being lifted...I was never horribly self-obsessed or wrapped up in my own weirdness, but when my daughter was born, suddenly there was clarity. I wasn't angry anymore. It was the first purely selfless moment that I had ever experienced. And it was liberating. In that moment, it's like you become something else. The real you is revealed."What did your child's birth reveal about the real you? Why not tell them at dinner tonight? Or write them a note and put it on their pillow? We sure spend a lot of time correcting our children. Why not also tell them what a profound difference they've made in our lives?

Ok..so now you have the email..Now I always try to take to heart the things I can do to express my unconditional love to them but this time led me to a moment I will never ever forget..So I took the advice of this email and crafted a letter to my girls..I tried to express to them just how profound of an impact they have made on me...I can be very hard on them and my discipline style lacks a lot to be desired..so I saw this as a perfect opportunity to share with them..My oldest is almost 8 and reads extremely well, so I knew she would be able to read and understand a letter..Jaydin is also a terrific reader for a 6 year old but I was not sure she would be able to grasp the real intent of my letter and my true feelings may not shine thru as I might have hoped...I typed the letter up and printed it off and laid it at their seats where we do our homework every day after school..Here is a copy of that letter..

Girls..I know I spend an awful lot of time telling you what not to do and what to do..As your Dad a large portion of my responsibility is to teach you right from wrong and to share with you the good news of Jesus Christ..but I also want to take a minute to tell you how much I love you and how much I am blessed by having two wonderful daughters such as you guys..From the very day you guys were born, I have been a changed man..You give me reason each and every day to work hard and leave a good example behind for you to follow..I am amazed at how each day brings about new opportunities to share with each other the life we have together..The good times and then those not so good times..I want you to know that I cherish every single minute I have with you and that I will be very very sad when you decide to marry and move out of my home for good..and into your new life building your very own family..I pray every single day that God give me the wisdom to share with you, the love to be kind to you and the humility to admit when I am wrong..You guys inspire me to be the best I can be and I cant tell you how much joy you bring to my life..I love you both so very much that I can hardly explain it. You are so very precious to me.. I love the way you smell. I love the way you smile. I love the way you hug me and kiss me.. I love the laughter you share with me and each other and I especially love the attitude you have toward me..You make it so easy to show my affection for you..To express my Love for you..I am the proudest Dad in this world because God gave me such wonderful, absolutely beautiful girls like YOU..

Thank You for being part of my life..

Thank You for being my daughters..

Thank you for Loving me..

Thank you for sharing life with me..

Thank you for being YOU!!

Your Loving Dad..

Ok..you have the letter and how we got to this point..Now this is where it simply overwhelms my soul..As CJ was sitting at her seat reading this letter, I was going thru her folder making sure everything was in order and I heard her make a sniffing sound..a sound you make when you are about cry..I paused and looked at her and I could see an emotion on her face I had never seen before..I was careful not to interrupt, so I carried on..The more she read, the more she sniffled until she began to cry..I was astonished..She could actually feel the raw emotion that was permeating from my letter..She walked over to me and while crying and sobbing and sniffling, she hugged me intensely...and I asked her.."CJ, honey, why are you crying?" and she said "Daddy, tears of joy" in a faint whisper like voice.. I can barely even type this out due to the emotion that is whaling up inside me even in this moment...which I might add is no comparison to the moment we shared during that hug.. She had looked at me and with tears streaming down her cheeks, she shared with me a moment that I can barely put to words.. A father daughter moment where a simple letter spoke to the heart of a young child so clearly that it was unmistakable..and forever left an indelible impression on my heart..

My message is to never take for granted the small things in life and never take for granted your children know you love them.. You may tell them every single day, sometimes 10-15 times a day, as I had...but there is always room to express that in different ways..just like this simple letter..

I also would like to share with you one last thing..The next day at bedtime, I walk into the girl's room and guess what I saw taped to the wall above each of their beds..Yes it was that very same letter..Can I just tell you that I will never be able to construct such moments but God is so faithful in rewarding us when we will take the time to do the things that nurture His eternal souls..He blessed me with a moment that no amount of money could ever buy..







CJ's letter is right there above the "J"..in typed format







Jaydin's letter is in the middle of this picture..


God is so Wonderful and I am so Blessed to have been gifted such amazing children. I pray that He will be glorified and exalted and that I can make Him proud by leading these precious eternal souls to Love and Adore Christ...for that is my hearts desire

EB

Abba Father ........

Lord..Dear God..Please cover me with your Abiding Love and allow me to feel your presence in my day today.. I am in awe of your infinite wisdom and desire to be inside your will for me. I trust that you know best for me and that everything that happens to me, good and bad, is all because You have willed it so.. Allow my faith to overcome any doubt that lingers in my mind about whether or not you truly care about my everyday problems and concerns..Fill me with your Holiness, Complete me with Your Grace...Strengthen my understanding and belief.. Shine your glorious light on all my darkness..Expose my wickedness for me to see so that I may be washed by the blood of Your Precious Son, Jesus Christ.. Embolden my desire to follow you, trust you and depend on you..Your Grace in Enough..Let that weigh on me today oh Glorious Father, Wonderful Counselor, Redeemer, Creator, Lord of Hosts, King of Kings, Ever lasting Father..The one who saved me from myself..

Amen

EB

Marks of a TRUE Christain - Romans 12:9,11-12

Romans 12:9
Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good

cf for Love -1 Timothy1: 5 The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith

a pure heart (rather than one filled with sinful desires), a good conscience (rather than one laden with guilt), and a sincere faith (rather than pretense and hypocrisy)

Love must be the distinguishing mark of Jesus' disciples.. Love is the fruit of Faith
John 13:34-35
34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Then at the same time you are to LOVE, you are to HATE..Hate Evil..Paul says abhor..Websters defines this word as extreme repugnance or aversion; detest utterly; loathe; abominate. I think that is as clear as the English language can make it..but here are some synonyms in case we are not clear - abominate, despise, detest, execrate, loathe

Romans 12:11-12
11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Breaking this verse down is quite difficult because there is so much said..Paul says do not be slothful in zeal and be fervent in spirit in serving the Lord..Slothful in Zeal could have just as well said..Be a fanatic..eager desire or endeavor; enthusiastic diligence; Basically it should be real noticeable in our world who is serving the Lord and who is not..We cant sit back and be a Christian and no one notice and just allow others to walk around lost..We must display zeal..enthusiasm for what Jesus Christ can do for us..and then Paul says fervent in Spirit..What I believe he means here is to understand and handle the word of God carefully, rightfully...allowing the Holy Spirit to guide you..To be accurate in your display. Acts 18:25 helps me reach this conclusion " He had been instructed in the way of the Lord. And being fervent in spirit, he spoke and taught accurately the things concerning Jesus

Rejoice in Hope - Those who are justified by faith have an unshakable hope, knowing they will be saved from God's wrath on the day of judgment..by virtue of Christ's death..It all boils down to this very concept for me..This future glory also spoken about by Paul in Romans..We must understand and come to know very well the reason we have Hope and where our Hope lies..We will be saved from God's wrath..and be allowed to dwell with him who's hand are scarred from the nails that pierced His Hands..(There is a great song called "One of these days" by FFH that speaks clearly of this Hope)

Be patient in tribulation(difficult times, trials)- we all need to take a second to understand that difficult times are part of life..Becoming a Christian doesn't mean we will live a rosy rest of our life..Be weary of this type of Christianity being preached today...In fact God says he will discipline those He loves..That doesn't mean punish..Discipline is correction..and when God is trying to refine us a potter and his clay, He may have to cut parts of us off in order to achieve the end result He is looking for..We may have to be stripped of certain things in our life..We may have to endure illness and loss in order to be made more like Christ..That is the end goal..Not necessarily happiness but Godliness...To be made in the image of His Son..and AW Tozer nails this point in his book "The Pursuit of God" where we says " The cross is rough and it is deadly, but it is effective. There comes a moment when its work is finished and the suffering victim dies..After that is resurrection Glory and power and the pain is forgotten"..........

but also notice how Paul follows up the comment on tribulation..BE CONSTANT IN PRAYER.. That is the answer to enduring life's most difficult times..to overcoming those refining moments..To defend against the wiles of the devil while he tries to "sift you like wheat".. Prayer is your direct connection to God..Your channel to harness the power of the Holy Spirit..There is no switch, no force field, no galactic ray that can be employed during these times..It is the power of Prayer and the relationship that Prayer offers you with God the Father..The closer you are to God thru Prayer, the better your ability to harness His power..Those who do not know God at all are defenseless against these times of tribulation (whether caused by God or satan) and will try to use their own abilities to make it thru and often times that ends up in giving up..taking ones own life, leaving a marriage, stealing or embezzling from employer..or whatever.. They have no hope and see the only way to make it thru is by them making decisions on their own without the assistance of The Creator..who knows best what to do..Prayer is so central to our faith and who we are as Christians..It can not be emphasized enough..

So in just three verses, much like Romans 12:2..you get a wealth of information in very short and concise sentences..This again shows the vastness and depth of the Word of God..and just how powerful it is.. Studying The Bible requires us to use shovels and hoes and pick axes...not just our hands..We need to dig past the layers to where the real riches are found..In the layers behind the "naked eye" if you will. I liken it to mining for Gold..In order to find Gold, you have to do more than just walk around and pick it up with your hands off the top of the soil..You must dig and dig and sift and sift till you run across those nuggets that eventually pay off for all the hard work and labor you put in..God's word is just like that..There will be times that just on the surface you will learn and glean many things from it, but it's true worth is far deeper than that..It requires a deliberate study of delving past the obvious into the not so obvious...and the understanding that is unleashed in that realm is mind boggling and you begin to get glimpses of just how awesome God really is and how Sovereign are His ways..It is in those depths of study that you begin to uncover the true mysteries of the Gospel..The true riches that God desires to show you..and the circles truly start to come together and Faith that was once the size of a mustard seed can grow to the size of a sequoia tree

EB

(ESV Study Bible, Websters)

Mercy & Grace

What is Mercy and Grace? Isn't the very word self explanatory..? Maybe not..I would like to expound of these two terms for a minute..so humor me..

Mercy - Is when you Deserve something you Do Not Get !!

Grace - Is when you Get something you Do Not Deserve !!

I know when I first heard these two terms described this way, it caused me great pause..I have pondered this and chewed on it to try and discover what exactly is meant here..You might call this a play on words, you might feel this is over simplification of the two words..But I find this to be an exact fit for what they mean to me..

What is Mercy? People will often say..God have mercy on me.. or God have Mercy on us all.. or we seek God's Mercy..If you notice Paul when writing almost every letter he started out with "Grace, Mercy and Peace from God our Father and Jesus Christ our Lord"..He actually uses Grace every single time and more often than Mercy..however he uses them often is my point..I found the word to be listed over 260 times...according to Strong's Concordance..This idea of Mercy has been so watered down in our culture today that we have very little understanding of what it means..

Websters reads this way - Forbearance to inflict harm under circumstances of provocation, when one has the power to inflict it; compassionate treatment of an offender or adversary; clemency.

Bible dictionary says - "God's forgiveness of his creatures' offenses,"

So we get Forbearance, Forgiveness, compassion...

So lets look back at the definition I started this with..It is when you deserve something you do not get..We ALL deserve eternal condemnation from God because of our sinful self..but God has compassion and doesn't give us that punishment if..

we believe in Jesus Christ and accept His Lordship over our life...then Grace will come and take away the punishment owed to us..So God's mercy is HIM sparing us, forgiving us, having forbearance on our souls..but that only comes one way..which leads us to the second term..

GRACE..God's favor or help," "pleasing quality, favor, good will,...Thru Grace and Grace alone we are able to be forgiven (have mercy on)..but there is a catch..The only way to receive this Grace is to Believe in Jesus Christ and His death and resurrection as just payment that was due us but thrust upon Him instead...

SO now lets go back to the definition I used at the beginning for Grace.. Get something you do not deserve..Is it becoming clearer..? You get forgiveness, even though you fall short of God's righteousness..You get compassion..You get forbearance..even though you really don't deserve it..because we will never meet God's perfect standard on our own..That Grace that we receive even though we don't deserve it comes from Jesus Christ Alone..He stood in place of us..He bore the sin of humankind so that His people would be saved..remember Jesus did not come to condemn(because we are all already condemned), but He came to Save...

See we must understand that God is so HOLY and so PERFECT and so RIGHTEOUS that He can not look upon sin..HE HATES SIN..UTTERLY AND PROFOUNDLY..Once you grasp that, then you can see just how important Jesus Christ is to all of mankind..Without Jesus Christ, there would be no Mercy..No Grace.. Jesus takes our sinful self and covers it so the Father can now have a relationship with us..making us acceptable in God the Fathers eyes.. All this talk about Mercy and Grace has no real meaning if we cant understand how we are able to receive it..and why we need it..The how and why are prerequisite...The How is thru Jesus Christ and the Why is because we are sinful and fall short of God's expectation (since the fall of Man with Adam and Eve)..

Here is the best part..Nothing we can do can merit God's Grace..More bible study, larger tithe checks, more servant hood, church attendance, helping the poor, lending those in need a hand, mentoring your children..etc,...Nothing you can do will merit Grace from God...except FAITH..Faith in Jesus Christ...Faith in the just payment for our sins acceptable to God as evidenced by the resurrection, to serve as eternal priest for our sake..Our Holy, Just and Perfect God was satisfied with Christ's sinless life in place for us..

I heard on a radio show once where a speaker was describing how Christ intercedes for us...and this is what he said.. It is like a little young boy who loves his mom more than anything in the world and he wanted to show how much he loved her.so he went out to the garden and picked a whole bunch of flowers and weeds and brought them to his mother as a sign of his love..The mother then took the bunch from her young son and proceeded to remove all the weeds and dirt and raggedy flowers until all she had left was a beautiful bouquet..See Jesus takes all our weeds and dirt( our sins and ugliness and unrighteousness and mistakes) and removes them and presents to the father a beautiful person, holy and acceptable to God the Father..So no matter what we have done or how sinful we might be..Jesus will remove that for us just as the mother removed the weeds for that young boy and what is left is just perfect and acceptable...

Jesus Christ desires to make intercession for us..but remember what Jesus had to say in Mark 8:38(amplified)" For whoever is ashamed [here and now] of Me and My words in this adulterous (unfaithful) and [preeminently] sinful generation, of him will the Son of Man also be ashamed when He comes in the glory (splendor and majesty) of His Father with the holy angels.

EB

Dear Eddie...

Dear Eddie,


how do i even begin to tell you what an incredible man you have become...what an incredible man you are? there's really no way in the world i could ever EVER put pen to paper (or words to screen!) as you have done so eloquently for me. But...honey...i want to tell you just what a force you are in my world!! you give me the lead to follow...you set the example...you inspire me to be more like you in my walk and in my faith...you allow me to be the woman God made me. you love me unconditionally...which i do NOT make easy for you! you are considerate and kind and trustworthy and easy to respect. when God brought us together (in a dance club of all places!) He knew that we would be where we are today...He knew that we would have the turbulent times...the smooth times...the lean times...and the just plain good times...He knew that we would reach this place that we've come to...of just loving Him most...and then allowing Him to bring us into a wonderful marriage! it took me so long to understand that i could not love you until i understood God's love for me! You know me...and you love me anyway! That's what makes you this incredible husband! i would love you if you weren't like you are now...but God makes it SO EASY to love you. your dependence on Him is SO refreshing and inspiring. you are a man's man...but have a tender heart. you are NOT some weak pushover or "wimpy"...you are very strong mentally...and physically. you know what is right...and you stick to it. that is so attractive and to me and it is one of your best qualities! A man of his word...and a man that loves his family...and a very fine looking man...what more could a girl ask for?!



1 Corinthians 13:4-13 says



4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.





this is a picture of you!! patient...the man that can wait on me to get home from work an hour late every day! kind...the man that will make sure that a frog, a dog, a cat, 5 butterflies, a rabbit, 3 baby girls, and 1 tired wife knows that he is here to take care of them and that he loves them! does not envy...you want for me what God wants for me...and whatever that may be you are my biggest cheerleader! is not arrogant...you do not have an arrogant bone in your body...your humble but confident spirit is one of the things i treasure most in you!! is not rude...you have such a way with words...and you have learned how to get a difficult point across to me with so much love a kindness! does not insist on its own way...you let me be me...constantly! is not irritable or resentful...you leave things where they are, and do not trudge up old issues that hurt you in the past. You hate wrong...and love the truth...it is so evident in the way you teach your girls...and how you treat them...and what you are passionate about. you have believed in me...and taken on many things on my behalf...you have never lost hope in me or us...and because of this pure love of yours...we have endured. we have grown up together...and as we have grown...this love has matured into a decision, not a feeling. But today...i know you love me...and...i can FEEL it too!





how many times have i read this passage in 1 Corinthians? Hundreds. But, today...i can sit and read this in my bible and see a perfect picture of you...my sweet husband. You are a true picture of biblical love...a picture of what God intends our men (and husbands) to be. It is not a weak man that loves Jesus like this and loves his family like this...its is a strong man...and man of character...a man that is not afraid of what the 'world' thinks of him. A man that knows his role and his place ...and that is at the head of his home...and at the feet of Jesus.



Reading in 1 Corinthians about love... and what love looks like...the decision to love...with this biblical agape love is a HUGE decision...one that is a lifetime commitment...and is a sacrifice...but looking at you...today...18 years since the first time i laid eyes on you...its the best, and easiest decision i could have ever made...i thank God that He allowed me to meet and marry and have children with a man like you.



the man you are every day...helps me to know that i know that you love me...and the man that you are every day makes me feel that love...and that is so beautiful...and that is my life with you...biblically beautiful.







Happy Anniversary & Valentine's Day! i love you and i would do it all over in a second!!



Nicki

Love Won Out - Happy Valentines Day My Dear Wife

Well this year as our finances would have it, I am not able to get the gift that says I love you on this Valentines Day..Normally I would shop around for the perfect gift that expresses my love for you and that would signify my enduring commitment..Couple that with a box of chocolates and I feel my message would be clearly delivered..Nicki I love you on this very special day..Valentines Day.. Well this year will be a bit different.. The object of my expression of love for you will be painfully( because all the memories I would love to share but will not have room, just too many) and pleasantly sifted out here on the pages of our newly formed Family Blog..This is my attempt to tie words with emotions in order to illuminate my feelings for you as Friend, Wife, Mother and Soul Mate..I know that many times in the past I have tried to essentially buy our happiness..always ending up dissolving away..Material possessions are just not adequate to represent a bond that spans more than 18 years now...I believe that my attempt to capture the precious moments of life we have shared over the past 18 years in writing will hopefully cement in your mind, the absolute gratitude and sincere genuine Love I have for you.. One thing I am sure of..no amount of perfect penmanship will ever be able to fully encapsulate all that is in my heart..Only my Lord God knows the extent of how I feel about you and the blessing you have been in my life...

Friend and Girlfriend- Before you became my girlfriend, you were first my friend and now always my friend.. You have been there for me thru some of the most difficult trials of life...and to some of the mountain tops we managed to find ourselves.. I remember the very first time I laid eyes on you at Plum Krazies...I was mesmerized.. I still with all my mental challenges ( and you know what I mean by that) can see your face as clear as day on the special evening..Your hair had a slight curl to it, flowing down your back, blond as could be..Your shirt was made of a silk material and your smell was like no other, a sweet aroma that like a thief in the night, stole my heart.. You were wearing glasses with dark rims that accentuated your exquisite beauty.. Then we danced!! WOW..You had rhythm..You danced and danced and danced the night away....and then we parted, sharing numbers that would eventually lead to where I am today.. What a significant turn of events that transpired that evening..So many things could have gone differently and we never would have crossed paths..not to mention you were only 17 in a club that required you to be 18...or me telling you I was 21 instead of 18, trying to be the older more mature guy..I remember sitting in your driveway one evening not long after that taking you home from a date and my high school tassel was hanging from my rear view mirror, with class of 1990 hanging from it..You asked me again how old I was, and again I clamored 21..only to be called out by you and given away by my tassel that was jumping around due to my 2 MTX 10" boom box speakers in the rear..Thumping..not to mention my pink steering wheel cover and my leopard skin seat covers..I cant believe all that did not send you running..It did not..God had brought us together, converging our paths with a purposeful plan...and that very plan is playing itself out to this day.. You were there for me when my Mom died...holding me in your arms telling me it would be OK..your comforting shoulder during that difficult time has been more influential than you will ever know..You traveling to my baseball games in your Dad's prelude with the sunroof open..always fashionably late..I remember the very first game you came to was at Davidson College and that was a game that I did not even get to play..I was so embarrassed but yet it mattered not to you..You saw potential in me..and that was evident in your actions after the game..I was beginning to fall deeply in love with you...and these moments are defining moments that have cemented this relationship and have been part of the glue that held us together when things did not look so bright.. I remember you studying the Bible and spending time in your bible as a young teenager, admiring your desire to know and follow God...which was a bit distant to me at that time..I found that to be a quality very few possessed..and then there was Prom night..That night you displayed a patience in me that I will never forget..I happened to have a double header at Mars Hill College on the same evening as your senior prom..Since I was on scholarship to play for Belmont Abbey, I could not say to my coach.."Coach I have a girlfriend I have been dating for a while and tonight is her prom night so I will not make the game tonight.." That just wasn't an option..So I went and played in that game and had a career night due to the excitement of going to the prom with you..I hit two home runs that night and hit for the cycle..4 RBI's..The best ballgame I would ever have..and then the long ride home anxiously waiting at every stop sign and stop light..wondering if I would ever get home..but I did, late as all get out, but we made it and you look ravishing..

Our relationship began to mature and so I felt it was time to seek your hand in marriage so I proposed to you..ensuring first that your parents would be OK with that..and then our love train went off in the dirt road and things began to fall apart..Our life that I had planned together had been derailed and I was devastated..My life would forever change during that period were we decided to break up and get some space..after all we were young and marriage seemed to be a gigantic step..so for a period of just over a year...we were no longer..It was me and it was you, but no more us..I had just graduated college and saw that it was time to pick up the pieces and get my life back on track..and just as I had almost resolved to myself that you would no longer be a part of my life, God saw fit to bring us back together..I honestly thought I had lost you forever and I had missed out on marrying my soul mate..for it wasn't to be..yet events unfolded that would once again, diverge our paths and this time, I was not about to let you go..I took you to a very special place for me and proposed once again..Allowing my heart to be opened to a relationship with you once again..and I remember weeping from the depths of my being because I felt like Destiny had once again been reunited with me..

Wife - Where do I begin.. A wedding that will forever be etched in my being.. A beautiful dress, a horse drawn buggy to the reception and a grand entrance to what was no doubt the happiest day of my life..A church filled with loved ones..A desire to become husband and wife..on the heels of a tragic day in my professional career life, which left us without a honeymoon..but that made no difference to us..We were together as husband and wife and that night at a downtown Charlotte hotel, we finally were able to sleep in the same bed..Halleluiah..but let me digress..Back to the wedding day..I remember as you were walking down that isle and I had not seen you all day, the moment I laid eyes on you, my heart began to beat uncontrollably..you took my breath away..I was enthralled with your beauty.. You had evolved from a young lady to an elegant lady, a woman, a picture of composite beauty..and boy was I proud...and hoping you did not change your mind .. I could not believe I was about to marry the very woman who captured my heart...but it was to be that very night..and that set a course of real life for us that we have traveled....a course that had some winding roads, dead ends roads and plenty of stop signs and red lights...all of which have been instrumental in refining us, molding us into what we have become today..Life has been a series of triumphs and crashes, victories and defeats..but through all the ups and downs we have managed to endure...Some days were really easy and some were very very difficult and then most were just ordinary days of two people sharing life together..I mean what more can a man want than to be in the presence of his queen on a daily basis...There were trips to the mountains to see the beautiful leaves in the fall, trips to the beach were we just laid on the beach all day with no worries about what was to come or what was past.. Dinners, dates, drive-ins and even those moments on the couch where we just curled up together in front of a movie...All of which seem like distant memories fading into the past as our life unfurls into a new era..and era that forced our desires to take a backseat as we headed into parenthood..Kids..Lots of them but life and fulfillment just took on a new meaning as we began to share this phase of life together, one that forever would change how we thought as a couple and one that would bring new meaning to our life..

Mother - You brought that pregnancy test into the room I was sitting that day and showed me a plus sign on a white and blue test stick..I was not sure what I was looking at..Could it be..Was I going to be a Dad..That is not possible..I am not ready to be a dad..I have no idea how to..But the joy that was painted all over your face when sharing this with me told me all I needed to know..We were going to be just fine..We were going to have a baby...You and Me..an actual real live baby..Now we begin the difficult task of choosing a name..Boy names and Girl names..we looked at both..and then the day we found out she would in fact be a girl.. You had asked for some version of Lillian or Lily and I stubbornly shot that down, not knowing that one day in the future, you would get to use that name after all. We settled on two initials..C and J..both coming from our parents.. Carolyn Jewel..How perfect..We loved initial names and both of our parents were honored in the process..So lets jump ahead to the day of birth, skipping past all those days of sickness and back pain , to the day the Doc said..we are having a baby..I remember sitting in that patient room and he said " we are having this baby today"..I thought "what"..you can't just say it like that..I mean don't we have time to prepare..Don't we get to go thru the process of "is this the moment"..Nope..It was time and not a day to soon for you..I remember you sitting on the bed after your epidural typing on the computer..and I thought..she is about to birth a child and she looks like there is nothing about to happen..I was scared stiff and I was just a bystander..but you were so ready to welcome this child into our life..We had done everything we were suppose to..No caffeine, no alcohol, no bad stuff..Well you actually did all that, not me..LOL,...but I did go to Lamaze classes with you and boy was that a unique experience..so we were prepared..The Nursery was just beautiful..CJ's name was on the wall...Clouds adorned the room painted over a soft blue background..New baby furniture..Bring it on..We were ready..and then labor began..Your heels up in the holster and my idea of child birth was coming to mind from what all I had learned, heard and saw..a few hours of pushing and pushing and hopefully a baby...except you forgot to follow that course..I think it was like..Push #1..there is the top of CJ's head..Good Grief..Push #2..Head out and I see my beautiful baby girl for the first time..I was awestruck..lightheaded and about to pass out..But you needed me to hold that leg...so I endured and Push #3 and out came CJ in all her glory..I cant help but cry even as I type this out..It was the most amazing sight my eyes had ever seen..I had heard all about this from others..but no amount of hearing can prepare you for the actual thing..I just watched my baby girl being brought into this world after cooking in your belly for 9 months..Only God could have done that..There was no other way to explain it..What a gift He gave us..I remember them bathing her for the first time back in the area behind the window and I was thinking, please don't hurt her, be gentle..and they were tossing her around, scrubbing her down like she was a plastic baby..to me she was a fragile little tiny thing and to the trained nurses, she was just another delivery that needed their care..They swaddled her up in a blankey and placed her in that clear plastic carrier and pushed her to the window to where we could all see..I walked by that window dozens of times thinking to myself..That is my baby girl..She is mine..oh and yours too..lol..but seriously, there was someone who had part of me in her..I cant explain what that means..it is just a feeling meant to be felt by first time fathers..for sure..but what a feeling of exhileration..pride..joy..Hope..all these feelings..Nicki you endured the hardships of 9 months of pregnancy to bring our first child into this world and you have no idea what that means to me and how proud I was of you..You made it look so easy..I remember that first car ride on the way home from the hospital..I was driving like a granny..after all I had precious cargo in the car..Everyone was going to fast..I was upset at all the drivers who could not understand I had "Baby on Board"..Didn't they know to slow down and be careful..Didn't they know to give me the right of way..That was the most anxiety filled drive of my life..but we made it..all in one piece..Ok..we were home with new baby..now what..No nurses we could pass her off to when we were tired, no one there to guide us..It was you and me and this little teeny tiny human..Reality struck..responsibility set it..The gravity of what just happened came bearing down on me..Will I break her, will she eat, will she grow, we she call if she needs me..Boy what was I thinking..would she ever..That first night, you were exhausted and I remember holding her as I sat in the glider chair and she was sound asleep on my chest and I thought..I love you little one..More that I ever thought possible..I will care for you and take care of you and protect you..I will be your Dad..What a feeling..indescribable..

Then there was Number #2.....but I need to mention with one less Fallopian Tube and you were breast feeding..How could that be..yet it was..That same blue and white stick with the plus sign. There it was..Plain as could be..Now this time around..we had experience..in fact success is how I saw it..CJ is still alive, breathing, healthy..so we must have done something right..right?..The emotions were no less intense but the process was a bit more tamed because we had done it all before..There was a comfort level we had due to the fact that this was no longer our first time..so there we were..in the hospital delivery room ready for round two..Would this be the long drawn out delivery everyone spoke of..Ok..Heels in holsters..Me by your bed and Push 1 and push 2 and out came the head..Just like before..Push 3 and another baby once more..This one we named Jaydin..Why? I am not altogether sure if truth be told..but something tells me I might be wrong..It was biblical in a sense..I do remember that..and it could go either way, boy or girl..and that was important..but forgive me if I have lost the details..So now we have 2 precious girls..Someone once said to me and I cant remember who..maybe Jewel..but they said " One is One and Two in Ten"..Boy was that an accurate statement..Taking care of one seemed so daunting and so difficult until we had 2..Knowing what you know with 2, that one was super easy to care for..Two babies feels like 10 babies..or at least it did to me..Diapers, Diapers, Diapers..I could not have imagined how many diapers these babies could go thru..Unbelieveable..Box after box and after box..They were a separate line item on our budget like tires for our car..They cost that much..and there were days were we chose diapers over food..a sacrifice so easy to make..So now we had two munchkins running around our home..Two peas in a pod..They did everything together..and life cruised on..We managed to get one out of diapers and the other real close until the unthinkable..Yes..Pregnancy #3..

Baby #3 - This one was a shock, no doubt at all..because she was conceived with a smile and that's all..I mean really..Nicki you were so fertile to have this child that my beautiful smile brought babies to your tummy....well not really but as much as I can say here in a public forum..Once a month seemed to be all that was needed to bring this third very unexpected little one into our life..So was this one to be our boy..We had two girls, a girl dog and of course you are also female..I needed some testosterone..but it was not to be...because this one would be one of Three..Three girls that is..You now how I mentioned you wanted to name your first child Lillian or some form of that...Well here was your chance and you pounced..Lillian Grace it was and she was to be called Lilygrace..No need for my approval..It was a done deal...and so I did as any husband would .."yes honey I love it..." and so we had a name for this tiny tink..Lilygrace..Again with two in hand..we felt like old pros..No need for worry..Just a day at the park..Walk in, have a baby, go home..Pretty much how it happened..Just like the two before..amazing we had 3 babies and a total of 9 pushes..Go figure..All that Lamaze training went to no use..They should have made a video documentary about having babies with you and the prefect scenario..You were such a pro..Now this little monster bear was born with a little different disposition..but being the last of three, she was your only baby and your last..and you still to this day have struggled with the idea of no more babies in the house..so much so that Lilygrace is now almost four and she is still your little Tink..Your Baby..refusing to let her grow up..just getting her first haircut just a week ago..but I understand and I will never try and seperate that bond of mother child..ever..

So life moved on..We were now a full fledged family..Trips to the beach were no longer spontaneous..Weeks of planning..loads of suitcases and all kinds of stuff..Loafs of bread eaten up in one meal..Gallons and gallons of milk every week..clothes everywhere..Life with three kids had certainly reared its head in our home..Everything was times three now..No more quick trips to the mountains or the beach..Meticulous planning and precise organization in order to fit the entire bunch.. Grocery trips now took on new meaning..Great Value brand became our best friend..One buggy was barely enough..My my how things changed..but all in all, this was exactly what we wanted..A Family..Kids to love on and love us back..A chance to live our lives vicarously thru them...then our life began to skid a bit off path..Suddenly things were not so happy and the future looked mighty grim..It was as if Satan had decided to take us out by dropping dynamite into our world..Not a gradual deal..but an explosion that threatened the very core of who we were as a unit..Arguements became fights and disagreements became battle stations..Our life had taken a turn for the worse..Bills mounted, debt loomed, and our marriage was severely weakened..Hope was losing its grip on us and discouragement and doubt became occupiers of our home..Trust had vanished before we knew it..The very foundation we had built our relationship on had suffered some extensive damage..We became strangers to one another asking ourselves what happened to the one we married..the one we fell in love with..I remember sitting in the driveway one day after work before coming into the house (at this time it was an apartment because we had sold our home)..I thought to myself..What has happened to my life..This is not how I planned it..This is NOT the legacy I want to leave behind.. A broken fragmented home with children as collateral damage..Just so I could feel vindicated or happy..I had no idea what happy was anymore..I had turned my back on you and my family and most importantly God..So God was stripping me of everything I had that was going to be a distraction to following Him..I remember coming in that day and having a talk with you..I was broken..My pride gone..It was time for me to assume responsibility and put my life back in order..I knew from the past that I could not do it on my own..I always failed when trying on my own..I never had the resolve needed to finish the task..But this time, it would be different..I remember you saying you were going to fight for our marriage..and fight you did..You showed me even in the midst of turmoil and rough seas that you wanted one last chance to make our family a family again..Broken and beaten down, I did not know how to muster up the energy needed to put this back right..It was going to take way more than what I had to give..No way could we surive the water that had accumulated under our foundation...But

LOVE WON OUT.. We both made a commitment to surrender our life to God and live His way and try His way before we gave up on each other and our family..and what transpired over the next days, weeks and months is nothing short of a miracle.. God had begun to restore our marriage and heal all the wounds we inflicted on one another and slowly He and He alone put each piece of our life back together...but this time each piece was so much better than before..He had placed His blessing on each piece and the comfort that spread from that is overwhelming..We both began to pray for each other, our marriage, our commitment..and we saw God bless this in ways unimaginable..I began to see you as I had once before..As my soul mate..My partner..My friend..My beautiful precious wife..There you were in all your splendor..God had transformed me from the inside out and gave me a brand new heart and a brand new set of eyes and a brand new desire..He showed me how to be a man..How to be the spiritual leader of our home which in my mind was the main culprit to our demise.. I took on a passion to follow God..to make Him my number one priority..To try living my life His way...and you followed suit..You also chose to turn your life over to God and allow him to direct your path..It was amazing what God was doing in our lives..The more I assumed the role God intended for me to have, the more life fell in place..Trust was restored and Family was once again my life..I had to give up some fairly nasty habits and turn away from all the darkness that had entered my life..I lost some friends, some jobs and some key vices along the way...but God knew exactly what He was doing..I could not have these little pockets of sin hanging around in my heart and follow Christ with everything I had..One had to go, so I turned away from that darkness and I chose Christ..You stood by me and watched me grow in my faith..Little by little Jesus became more and more a part of my life until He was my life..I understood for the first time my role in the downward spiral of my marriage and my life..Once that was clear to me and I could see how I had the power thru my Savior Jesus Christ to lift us up out of the desolate pits and lead this family into a new life..A life centered on Christ..It was He who deserves all the glory for what has happened in our marriage and life..It is He who deserves all the Glory and praise for knowing the exact precise time to step in and save us.. If He had come any earlier, the lesson would not have been learned and total surrender to Him may not have happened.. If He had come any later, Lord only knows what would have happened..A certain misery that I can barely think about because it scares me so..God's timing was perfect..and thru His perfect timing, we were able to learn the lessons needed to grow in our Faith and in each other..

Now is the time I get to brag about you and tell you just how much I LOVE you..Nicki, we have traveled some very interesting roads in our life..There have been some beautiful bright spots and some very dark places along the journey..and thru it all we have learned that God is our Rock and our Hope and Joy come from Him and that just spills out into our marriage giving us a Love for one another that has no bounds..I am commited to You..I am here for you..I am here for our kids..I will never take you for granted again..I will try my very best to be the best husband and father I can with God's powerful flame buring inside me..I will walk with Christ every day and seek His will for my life and I promise to use His example in all that I do..I am human and that makes me imperfect in so many ways and totally suspect to messing up..But if you will also lean on Christ as you have in the last 18 months, my faults and screw ups might not be so bad knowing that my heart is exactly where it should be..Focused on God..Steeped in His magnificent Word...and Guided by His Holy Spirit..I am forever indebted to you for deciding to fight for this marriage..I love you beyond what words can describe.. You are my very best friend..There are no more secrets..You now have the key to my heart and with that key comes great responsibility..because you see those who love you the most can also wound you the deepest..My Heart is wide open for you to have..I am resolved to abiding in Jesus Christ and become more and more like Him each day and that results in a husband who loves you like Christ loves the Church..That results in a man who would lay down his life for you..A man commited to the covenant he made before God Almighty that I would love you in sickness and and in Health, for better or for worse, till my precious savior calls me Home..

Nicki, I love you. Today is a very special day. Long ago you were just a dream and a prayer. This day like a dream come true the Lord Himself has answered that prayer. For today, Nicki, you as my joy become my crown. I thank Jesus for the honor of going through time with you. Thank you for being what you are to me. With our future as bright as the promises of God, I will care for you, honor and protect you. I lay down my life for you, Nicki, my friend and my love. Today I give to you.... me

Nicki, as I stand before both God and man, making public my commitment to you, I wish to make it known that I recognize first of all God's authority over my life which is exercised from His loving heart. He has chosen me to be one of his own, and He is now my life. I recognize also that He has blessed me and entrusted to me your life as a free gift that I have not earned. In recognition of these things, Nicki I purpose to love you with His love, to provide for your needs through His enablement, and to lead you as He leads me, as long as He gives us life together, regardless of the circumstances. As Psalm 34:3 expressed my heart when I asked you to marry me, so it expresses my heart now: "O magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt His name together."

I love you, Nicki, and I thank the Lord for the love that has bound our hearts and lives together in spiritual fellowship of marriage. I will love, honor and cherish you always. As we enter upon the privileges and joys of life's most holy relationship, and begin together the great adventure of building a Christian home, I will look to Christ as Head of our home as I have looked to Him as Head of the Church. I will love you in sickness as in health, in poverty as in wealth, in sorrow as in joy, and will be true to you by God's grace, trusting in Him, so long as we both shall live.

You are a most precious gift...sacred to me. I lift you up as my crown jewel, a precious spirit that you are..to behold such a gift before all men.. That I solemly pledge to Love you and Care for you, with a love so palpable that you have no room for doubt..I will stand by your side, hand in hand, leading us on a journey of Christlikeness..and journey that seeks to uncover the great depths of human love, sacrifices and selflessness..to serve you, to compliment you, to endure to the very end..

God's Faithful Servant

EB