Friday, June 19, 2009
"Lost at Sea"
What I have realized about myself just today is that I come to this blog when I am feeling weighted down by the demands of this world or by the feelings of unworthiness before God Almighty, or by the intense emotional roller coaster of life..Notice it is all about feelings..That is not a good thing but when I sit at this computer and I begin to unravel my thoughts and ponder over God's will for my life, His CRAZY LOVE for me and the purpose of my existence, I find this to be therapeutic..like healing rain..There are so many things about God that I just simply don't understand and most likely will never understand. His vastness and His Holiness are beyond my ability to comprehend..How can one comprehend the incomprehensible.? You cant..That is where Faith plays its part..See, as we travel through our lives here in earth, we are constantly being tugged on by this world and the demands it places on us and many times I find myself stepping outside of the Grace of God and into my flesh to try and deal with all these demands..and as soon as I do this, I begin to experience emotions of worry, anxiety and fear..The world is antagonistic to God and pulls us in the opposite direction.. and the further we let ourselves wade around in this world and apart from Christ, the further we drift out to sea and into a place of isolation...a place where in all directions there seems to be no safety, no place to rest, no place to find comfort..Imagine floating around in the middle of the ocean with no life preservers, nothing to hang on to, just you and the ocean..How long can you tread water before the burden becomes to much..? Before the ocean swallows you up and takes you over...? That is how I perceive this world.. When I step out into my flesh to handle the world and the problems it has thrown at me, I begin to drift out to sea..If I choose to stay in that frame of mind and allow myself to continue on that path, emotions like doubt and discouragement began to permeate my mind...and that means I am drifting further out to sea..If we do not return to our Faith and the TRUTH , then we continue to drift to the point the world swallows us up and we are no longer in Christ but in the world...and the deception that takes place at this point is un nerving..We slowly allow the Truth to be bent and molded into a version that is frankly no longer Truth..WE become tolerant of certain things that when Steeped in Christ, we would not be tolerant of..We simply morph into a worldly being and leave behind all we know to be godly, upright and moral lives..caving into the mesmerizing drumbeat of a lost society where Truth is defined as whatever you want it to be depending on your lifestyle and a hypnotic like state controls our actions and we simply mull thru each day, day after day, worrying, being angry and struggling against the wiles and wickedness of humankind and satan.. Life becomes a drudge and joy is replaced with discontent, peace with anxiety and love with anger..
This blog is a lifeline of sorts for me that doesn't allow me to get to far off in the distant ocean, without pulling myself back in to safety..the safety of Christ and His Saving Grace..When I sit down here and begin to share my thoughts, I am reminded again and again of where I used to be and where God has brought me to..I am reminded of the darkness that was my life and the newness I now enjoy..I am reminded of my inability to deal with life on my own and God's desire to pull me from the desolate pits and onto a secure foundation in Christ Jesus. I am reminded of my sinful self and how lost I am without Christ my Lord directing my every thought and every decision..It is so easy to allow yourself to drift away and gradually merge with the world..but when I begin to feel myself drifting, worrying, feeling high levels of anxiety, I find myself right back here..The Bible says in Romans 12:2 " Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind so that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God"
I am not saying to replace your time with God and the Precious Word...because I firmly and absolutely believe that reading the Word is paramount..however I am suggesting that we can also find supplemental ways to keep us grounded and close to God...and the ironic thing is that all this time I thought I was doing this to also help others and what I realized today is that it is for me..to keep me close..See as I woke up this morning, I begin to tackle the duty of paying the bills and this has become more and more stressful for me because when you have less coming in than you owe, then it becomes a task that is painful and truly avoided at all cost until it cant be avoided no longer...so as I was adding up what we owe and what sits in the bank account, I found myself drifting out to sea...but with a tailwind that was whipping up behind me pushing me much faster than normal.. If I would have allowed this to persist through out the day, then I would have lost touch with the joy and peace and Love that the Holy Spirit pours on me...but Thank Goodness God's Mercy is boundless and his Love is overflowing and His Grace is infinite..God does not want us living a miserable dull drab life..He desires for us to rest in His Peace, to abide in His Love and to stand firm on His promises to His children..
Allow yourself to draw near to God and allow the Holy Spirit to guide you...God has given this to us as a gift, and even when we falter or screw up or even when we have doubts..God is there to remind us of His Omniscience( All Knowing), Omnipotence (All powerful), omnipresence( limitless presence), Immutable (never changing), Infinitetudeness ( Boundless, measureless).
Let me end these thoughts with this paragraph from a book I am currently reading that is totally transforming the way I know and understand God Almighty..The book is called "The knowledge of the Holy" by AW Tozer.. This book is taking my perspective of how I perceive God and expanding and stretching it to the proper perspective and taking the God I once had in this "box" and busting Him out in all HIS GLORY and SPLENDOR..Whew!!! It takes my breath away just knowing this VAST God, this CREATOR chooses to love me
"Forever God stands apart, in light unapproachable. He is as high above an archangel as above a caterpillar, for the gulf that separates the archangel from the caterpillar is but finite, while the gulf between God and the archangel is infinite. The caterpillar and the archangel, though far removed from each other in the scale of created things, are nevertheless one in they are alike created. They both belong in the category of "that which-is-not-God" and are separated from God by infinitude itself."
Lord I admit my weakness and my lostness without you and I am so very grateful for the Saving work of Jesus Christ. May I draw near to you and rest in the mastery of your peace and abide in your LOVE, a love that knows no bounds. Will you hold me close and share with me, the glories and riches and blessings of your perfect will..and allow me to bask in that perfect knowledge..In Jesus name I pray
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