i LOVE controversy and debate. i am sort of obnoxious when it comes to being a submissive wife and a conservative republican. i'm even a little loud about having a sweet and quiet spirit. i am an oxymoron, really. i'm a work in progress...some of my more liberal friends (colleagues) might even say i'm a 'piece of work'... but i love my God...and love His Word and i love when people proclaim it. so in the spirit of a good debate and a good word from God...listen to this INCREDIBLE pastor from the great state of Texas. (I'm making myself an honorary Texan...but that's a WHOLE 'nother blog) Eddie and I have seen this guy in person...and he's awesome. Now...please...if this steps on your toes...let me know...and i'll try to help you understand why it shoudn't! :)
about a month ago we had a 'fam-fest' at our church. it was a friday evening and saturday morning event that was a to high-light the distinctive roles of boys and girls (men and women) in the family. i love my pastor because he isn't scared of his congregation, or scared of the politically correct members of our community. the man fears God Himself...and that's really about it. so it is a privilege to sit at his feet and hear truth...God's Word is always pastor Jeff's foundation...and he does not waiver from its truths.
the distinctive roles of men and women have become such a controversial topic that...of course... i'm going to LOVE blogging about it...but controversy is like a comfort zone for my pastor! :) So...lets start with the basics... men are to lead...women are to submit (follow)...children are to honor their parents (that means do what they say when the say to do it) and families are a picture of God. God is neither male nor female...and marriage is from HIM by HIM for HIM.
ok...so now that those basic principles are out there....we learned how these truths are to be lived out by us...Christians. when i was younger, you would NEVER have convinced me that any man would ever lead me. no one would ever lead me...i would lead myself and i would make my own decisions. it was safer that way for all involved. i would be the only one accountable to me. i would be responsible for my destiny and that way i only had myself to congratulate when my life worked out according to plan. only....the flip side of that is that when life doesn't stick to the plan you GAVE IT...you are also the accountable (to blame). so...as dr. phil would say..."how's that workin' for ya?"
lets fast forward a few years to now. and get back to our distinctive roles. as a woman i was never meant to lead...a family...a husband...a church or a church's congregation...or (lets get in your conservative kitchen here) a country. I was created by God Himself to be a helper, a caretaker or homemaker, and a nurturer. now there is an amount of 'leading' that needs to take place in these primary roles God has given women...but i'm not supposed to lead my husband (or any other man) around by the nose ring. I'm not supposed to be the final say so in my house...I'm not supposed to degrade my husband with my extra special super-smarts :), and i am NOT supposed dishonor my husband even with my thoughts and especially not my words or actions. and if i try to head up my house it is dishonoring to my husband. now don't get me wrong here...i work for a woman...and i voted for a VP in november that is a woman...i admire many women...i gave birth to 3 women...and heck, i am a woman! women have a unique spin to put on things and are incredibly valuable...value is not what i'm after here. i just understand that God created women to do certain things better than men...but running the show was NOT one of them. I can say all of this because, like i said, i am a woman. it does not hurt my feelings that i'm not the head of my home or the minister (or even a deacon) of my church. i used to think that i could do anything i wanted to do...but i failed to realize that its not what i want for me...its what God wants for me that will determine my future and what i 'become'. God designed me to be a girl. a lady...a woman....a vessel of sorts. i'm not a real girly girl (though i spawned at least 2 of them...and i don't know how it happened), but i love being a girl...feminine. and i see nothing wrong with it. i don't want to be a man...i don't want to dress like a man....i don't want to have the responsibilities of a man...now that i know what they are. :) i have no desire to be masculine at all. and honestly i don't think most women want that either. i don't think they realize that trying to 'succeed' by this world's standards fits us all, men and women, into one mold. as a little girl...i don't think i was ever encouraged to be a "good mommy", or a good home maker. in school i was encouraged to be a well educated (and i think i am) and use my education to go as far as i could in the business, academic, or science world. i'm sure that i wouldn't disappoint God by being successful in these areas but i think what we miss as women is that God calls us to succeed as wives and mothers and nurturers and care givers. its not wrong for a woman to become an astronaut...but at what cost does it come? the whole point of my blog is this...what God plans and desires for us, girls, is not always the popular thing in our culture. I have tried doing things my way and the 'world's' way. and now i'm doing things God's way (or i'm constantly, with God's grace, trying) and the contentment and the peace that i have from handing over all the 'say-so' that i thought i HAD to have to my wonderful husband is worth more than any promotion or pay raise or 'win' (in an argument or otherwise) in my life. God's way is the best way...period.
God made me to fit perfectly in my distinctive role. Ladies, have you ever watched your child try to stuff a triangle into a square hole? they get so frustrated and they cry and their little faces turn so red (or at least the little faces at my house do). Girls, lets stop trying to be something that we aren't and lets give God's creation a chance to work the way it was intended. be the very best woman you can be...and just watch all of the incredible successes God will bring you.
Nicki
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