Saturday, August 21, 2010

Levi Mac Bailey - How we Got here !!


On August 20th, 2010 at 5:54 my world has taken on a new phase..I should not say my world, because this is just as much of an impact on my wife and my girls as it is me..but since I am the one writing this out, lets stick with that.. Levi Mac Bailey entered the world..rather eventful I might add..Now that I have had a chance to digest all that has taken place in the last 24 hours, the emotional roller coaster, the up and downs, the zigs and the zags, the anxious moments and the like..I wanted to share some thoughts on what this all means to me.

I have had the gracious opportunity so far to be privileged to raise 3 beautiful girls during my course as Father..and honestly have enjoyed every second of it..My girls are a treasure, a gift from God for sure and they have helped shape me into the man I feel I am today..They have driven me to work very hard and understanding my role as a Father..I classify this as Priest, Prophet, Protector and Provider..To teach them about Christ, to look into the future and keep them from situations that might harm them, to protect them from dangerous and evil influences and to provide for their needs (love, affection, food, shelter, companionship,etc)..So I really hope that my words here proceeding this do not discount my genuine love for my girls..They are priceless in every sense of the word..but this blog is about Levi..


Levi is my first boy...and my only boy.. He has been a constant thought in my mind for many years but really never made it far past the idea..I believe if you ask any man and they were to be honest with you, they would love to have a boy..My son, my heritage will live on as long as our Lord desires..This means the Bailey name will carry on..and that as he grows up, he will represent the Bailey name..He will one day come to a fork in the road of life..He can choose to follow Christ and or he can choose to reject Christ..and that day will set a course that will leave an eternal imprint on his soul..So why do I mention this..? God has placed this young child in my life to be a guide, a model to show him the way to everlasting life.. It will be my responsibility to teach and instruct him in the ways of the Lord..


See, this child is a miracle in many ways..not just the general sense of a child being born, which is totally a miracle..but how he came to be...There was a day not to distant in the past where I was a lost and wayward man..I had no direction, confused and dismayed, arrogant and prideful..and that literally almost cost me my marriage and my family..and when I think back to how close I was, swells of emotion come flushing to the surface...Gratitude for what Christ did to my heart can never be properly defined by mere words but my heart knows and it feels it..See, in the moment of utter darkness, Christ raised me up out of a desolate pit, a miry clay and placed my feet on a new and secure foundation in Jesus Christ and he placed a new song in my mouth and a praise to God. He replaced my hardened heart with a new one..and if it were not for that moment in time where the old me was snuffed out and the new me raised up, I would not be here typing this message right now and would also not have the privilege of having a son and seeing him born and the opportunity to pour out into his life the same kind of love that Christ showed me..That mercy that was shown to me can never be properly accounted for..so I decided that day that my life would be a living sacrifice for God, that He would be my lover, my Lord, my counselor, my Leader...and He has poured out on me such blessing and grace that I truly wished everyone could experience this..Thru such pain and pride, he replaced with Love and Mercy..As God has been rebuilding me into the man He desires, each peace He replaces of me, more of the old me dies..and good riddance..So as I look at Levi laying in my arms, tears and emotion overwhelm me..because it is a stark reminder of where I was, how I got here, and where I could have been..and the only emotion that I can muster is complete brokenness..For now I can see the plan, at least parts of it anyway, and how God has orchestrated this change, or transformation of me..I can totally understand how God could not allow a son in my life in the past because the example I was would have been a terrible influence on him, my heritage, his family and his leadership abilities to lead his family..What was once lost on me is now clear as the bright blue sky..God was not ready to gift with me a son who I would have to mentor..He had to break the clay pot, and start over..My eyes, my ears, my heart are so different..I love my wife more than I ever have and want so much to live out all my earthly years with her..I want to protect my marriage fiercely and keep it healthy and thriving.. I want our role as parents to be one of stewardship where we keep our relationship in proper perspective, ahead of our children, so that we can properly attend to them without losing ourselves..I want our marriage to be an example for them to see, to desire after, to long for..and in the end my prayer is that their little lives are partnered with a Godly, loving person to which they can grow their families with..and pass on this Treasure of the Knowledge of God thru the face of Christ!!.



So my feelings today are of much much gratitude and awe..so thankful for that day that God gripped me, so that today could be a reality, and that my chance to mentor my son would begin.. He is now here weighing 8lbs 10oz and measuring 20.5"..He is so very precious..truly a gift from the Creator..Let us begin the race, enduring till the end, so that what we do is well pleasing to the one who redeemed us!! May He get all the glory and may His name be exalted, for He and He alone is the perfecter of the weak..

EB

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Baby Levi !!





It is the day before Nicki is to be induced into Labor, so the day of our baby boy "Levi" is less than 24 hours away..I wanted to take this minute to capture some of the thoughts and emotions running thru my mind as well as to record this for the day when he can read this very blog..


As you all know this is not our first rodeo and while we are old hats at having children, I am still very anxious for his arrival.. I would not classify my feelings as nervous (although some would argue) and neither would I say I am at ease..because I am not.. My uneasiness is in the scope of my role as a father to a young baby boy who will some day turn out to be a man..and that responsibility is looming ever so closely.. I have been feeling these emotions with my daughters for quite some time now and they really have never subsided..but the very idea that this young boy will be responsible for leading his home spiritually and being accountable for that is a daunting task but one I am very eager to get started on..


There is a song out called " I want to be just like you" and the words are so perfect for Father Son..but there is one line that rips me to shreds and it goes like this " Help me be a Living Bible Lord, that my little Boy can read, I want to be just like you cause he wants to be like me"..Gosh that tears me up just thinking about..My actions, my life will be an example for him and that motivates me to lead by example and not so much by words..The Bible is very clear on the Father's role in the home with respect to many issues, including raising our offspring..but in less than 24 hours there will be another precious addition to this family, a true gift from El Shaddai, an eternal soul with paths yet unknown nor carved out..but with a lamp upon his feet to guide his way.. The lamp will be the light of our Lord Jesus Christ and with His help and encouragement, Grace and Mercy..I am confident He will be there for me and for our family to train young Levi up in the admonition of the Lord..





So as the specific hour looms and the anticipation grows..I am encouraged by the Holy Spirit and feel as ready as I will ever humanly be..In my weakness the Lord Jesus Christ is elevated..His surpassing power made real thru this clay pot..



Levi..You are a gift from my Lord and I am grateful to have the opportunity to raise you and love you..I pray that you will see in me what I see in my God...A love that is unconditional, sacrificing and eternal..You have always been in the back of mind but now you are about to be a reality..I cant wait to play ball, coach your teams, bandage your wounds, hug your neck and pat your back..You are my boy and I will be your DAD..I love you already and I cant barely contain the excitement..Have a safe travel down the birth canal and I will be waiting for you..






Your Dad..