Saturday, August 21, 2010

Levi Mac Bailey - How we Got here !!

On August 20th, 2010 at 5:54 my world has taken on a new phase..I should not say my world, because this is just as much of an impact on my wife and my girls as it is me..but since I am the one writing this out, lets stick with that.. Levi Mac Bailey entered the world..rather eventful I might add..Now that I have had a chance to digest all that has taken place in the last 24 hours, the emotional roller coaster, the up and downs, the zigs and the zags, the anxious moments and the like..I wanted to share some thoughts on what this all means to me.

I have had the gracious opportunity so far to be privileged to raise 3 beautiful girls during my course as Father..and honestly have enjoyed every second of it..My girls are a treasure, a gift from God for sure and they have helped shape me into the man I feel I am today..They have driven me to work very hard and understanding my role as a Father..I classify this as Priest, Prophet, Protector and Provider..To teach them about Christ, to look into the future and keep them from situations that might harm them, to protect them from dangerous and evil influences and to provide for their needs (love, affection, food, shelter, companionship,etc)..So I really hope that my words here proceeding this do not discount my genuine love for my girls..They are priceless in every sense of the word..but this blog is about Levi..

Levi is my first boy...and my only boy.. He has been a constant thought in my mind for many years but really never made it far past the idea..I believe if you ask any man and they were to be honest with you, they would love to have a boy..My son, my heritage will live on as long as our Lord desires..This means the Bailey name will carry on..and that as he grows up, he will represent the Bailey name..He will one day come to a fork in the road of life..He can choose to follow Christ and or he can choose to reject Christ..and that day will set a course that will leave an eternal imprint on his soul..So why do I mention this..? God has placed this young child in my life to be a guide, a model to show him the way to everlasting life.. It will be my responsibility to teach and instruct him in the ways of the Lord..

See, this child is a miracle in many ways..not just the general sense of a child being born, which is totally a miracle..but how he came to be...There was a day not to distant in the past where I was a lost and wayward man..I had no direction, confused and dismayed, arrogant and prideful..and that literally almost cost me my marriage and my family..and when I think back to how close I was, swells of emotion come flushing to the surface...Gratitude for what Christ did to my heart can never be properly defined by mere words but my heart knows and it feels it..See, in the moment of utter darkness, Christ raised me up out of a desolate pit, a miry clay and placed my feet on a new and secure foundation in Jesus Christ and he placed a new song in my mouth and a praise to God. He replaced my hardened heart with a new one..and if it were not for that moment in time where the old me was snuffed out and the new me raised up, I would not be here typing this message right now and would also not have the privilege of having a son and seeing him born and the opportunity to pour out into his life the same kind of love that Christ showed me..That mercy that was shown to me can never be properly accounted I decided that day that my life would be a living sacrifice for God, that He would be my lover, my Lord, my counselor, my Leader...and He has poured out on me such blessing and grace that I truly wished everyone could experience this..Thru such pain and pride, he replaced with Love and Mercy..As God has been rebuilding me into the man He desires, each peace He replaces of me, more of the old me dies..and good riddance..So as I look at Levi laying in my arms, tears and emotion overwhelm me..because it is a stark reminder of where I was, how I got here, and where I could have been..and the only emotion that I can muster is complete brokenness..For now I can see the plan, at least parts of it anyway, and how God has orchestrated this change, or transformation of me..I can totally understand how God could not allow a son in my life in the past because the example I was would have been a terrible influence on him, my heritage, his family and his leadership abilities to lead his family..What was once lost on me is now clear as the bright blue sky..God was not ready to gift with me a son who I would have to mentor..He had to break the clay pot, and start over..My eyes, my ears, my heart are so different..I love my wife more than I ever have and want so much to live out all my earthly years with her..I want to protect my marriage fiercely and keep it healthy and thriving.. I want our role as parents to be one of stewardship where we keep our relationship in proper perspective, ahead of our children, so that we can properly attend to them without losing ourselves..I want our marriage to be an example for them to see, to desire after, to long for..and in the end my prayer is that their little lives are partnered with a Godly, loving person to which they can grow their families with..and pass on this Treasure of the Knowledge of God thru the face of Christ!!.

So my feelings today are of much much gratitude and thankful for that day that God gripped me, so that today could be a reality, and that my chance to mentor my son would begin.. He is now here weighing 8lbs 10oz and measuring 20.5"..He is so very precious..truly a gift from the Creator..Let us begin the race, enduring till the end, so that what we do is well pleasing to the one who redeemed us!! May He get all the glory and may His name be exalted, for He and He alone is the perfecter of the weak..

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