Monday, January 17, 2011

Lukewarm Faucet

Ok So I have been absent from this blog for a very long time, mainly because my motivation and has dwindled and my inspiration evaporated. I feel ashamed yet not, guilty but not really, convicted..not so much. See that is the whole problem and the very reason I am writing now. I have been so lukewarm over the last many months that any conviction I feel is quickly stamped out by my flesh and any desire or inspiration I have is dealt with swiftly by my natural carnal lazy self. I still ponder all types of thoughts regarding life, purpose, God, eternity, struggle, strife, evil, satan, salvation, spirit, self, surrender, etc. it's just these thoughts are not making it to paper and therefore being lost in the abyss that is my mind.

Here is what I have discovered and not at all something I am proud of..I am the Lukewarm Christian, going thru the motions because that is all I FEEL like doing, taking my life for granted, often being upset with God for my circumstances. Contentment..what is that. ? I used to long for contentment and feel like wherever I was that is where I was suppose to be but for the last few months (many months) I have become discontent and that has spawned an awful spiral in my life, my time with God, my time in the Word and Prayer. Intellectually I can see this taking place but in my heart there has been no resolve to stop it and get control of the tailspin. It is a very weird thing to know what is going on and care nothing about really changing it. It is frustrating and discouraging. It seems Satan has a foothold on me all the while me not really caring..thinking that someday I will just shake him off and things will return to normal.. Big Mistake. I have written blogs in the past about the power Satan has in this world and about what kind of adversary he is..yet in my own little world, I have seemed to reject this notion that "I" can wrestle with him and leave the match unscathed. That is exactly where Satan is most dangerous, when we feel he is not as powerful as he really is. This leads me to my point........

I have this faucet in my kitchen that I tried to repair some 10 months ago and for the most part I did fix it but just not the way it was suppose to be. See no matter how long I would wait after I turned the lever to the left for hot water it would never get really fact it would barely get warm..I would wait and think well it is just needs time to travel from the heater to the faucet, or it is just cold outside and this is as hot (warm) as it will get. Each day I would turn the faucet to the left hoping for hot water and all I ever got was LUKEWARM Water..So I decided a few days ago to swallow my pride and take this faucet back apart and see if something was damaged, not right or just simply wore out. So I gathered my tools and I commenced to taking this thing apart piece by piece. I shut the water off, I disconnected the water lines, I loosened the bolts and I dismantled this thing to the core of it..I discovered a small tiny piece inside the faucet that was adjustable that regulated how far the lever would turn to the to left and to the right and to my chagrin I saw that the piece could be adjusted to allow a much further turn to the left which should in theory allow the water to move from LUKEWARM to Hot. So I slowly and carefully made the adjustment and put it all back together.. Water lines connected and now the time for testing..I pushed the lever up and all the way to the left and .....YES the water was not only hot, it was scalding..I did it. I fixed it..So how does this relate to my walk with Christ. You see, no matter how many times I got out of bed and wanted to be on fire for God intellectually, I was barely LUKEWARM. Waiting for my circumstances to change so I could Love God again the way I knew I should. Just like the faucet, nothing changed and still Lukewarm. It was not until I took the faucet apart down to its core and rebuilt it did it have an affect. My life is much the same. God is my creator and he has been trying to take me apart and rebuild me the way He knows I need, but I have stiffed armed him not allowing that to take place. Some parts of me need serious adjustment and repair and if I would just allow God to make those necessary repairs and adjustments, I could finally move from LUKEWARM to ON FIRE. Instead I have allowed the weeds to choke out my faith, my fuel, my desires...Just exactly what the Bible says will happen when we stray from the Word and try to do things our way. I would say to myself, I wished things were different. That is saying God I really dont trust you.. I would say, I need something good to happen to me. That is saying God you are not really sovereign. I would get upset at my circumstances and get angry with God. That is really saying that God doesnt really care about his children and what is best for them. See I have a serious infection in my life and it is called Self. I am like the worse cancer to my spiritual life. I can infect myself so badly that spiritual death can be imminent. My lukewarm state of being is a very sick state. If we let this continue in our life and refuse to deal with it, we will suffer the consequences and life that can be full of Joy and Peace will slowly move to Discontent and Despair. God is at work in my life and while I am not enjoying the pain associated with the work He is doing, I must cling to the promise that He is Good and that He is going to complete this work in me that He started. I must hold tightly to the promise that our Hope in Him does not disappoint. I have been bought with a price, a price so expensive that it would be unjust for God to send that sacrifice for me and then just let me be to myself not caring about me, my circumstances, my struggles.

So I have come to a place of repair, I am broken and need to be adjusted and just the like the faucet, I will once again be what I am supposed to be and that is a Soldier for Christ, loving Him, living for Him, Spending time with Him and then Letting that spill out of me like the broken clay pot I am. The three D's are not of the Father: Doubt, Discouragement, Despair and I will add one D....Discontent. So, I will resolve to reunite with my Lord and surrender totally to His will and to get out of the way so He can work in and thru me for His Glory. It is then I will find Rest for my Soul, pleasures forever more and Joy unspeakable.

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