Tuesday, July 28, 2009

"Marriage insight"

I was listening to the radio this morning and heard some things, I feel compelled to share. This ought to be short but powerful...at least it was for me..

The guy on the radio (I believe it was Pastor James McDonald) was speaking about "exclusive romance" and what it meant to be in marriage and not just married but in a fulfilling loving marriage.. I have run the spectrum on marriage from one extreme to the now total opposite..One extreme I thought marriage was a doomed project with loftiness that was not sustainable for the human species..Of course my view during this time was when I was full throat deep in darkness, with deception and conniving as my best friends..to the view I now cling to and that is a marriage fulfilling and rewarding and just a special part of my life as I now know it...I cant say I am much different now except to say I have left that intentional deception behind and have allowed myself to be in plain view of God's shining light exposing me for who I am..but still a wicked person at my nature and but for God's grace and mercy am I not still deceiving all those I love..

So this brings me to the message I desire to share..

"We as humankind, desperately want what we can not have and take for granted the things we do have"...THINK about this for a minute or two..Does this sound like our marriages and what might be the crux of the destruction of marriages. This is very very harmful to our Holy Unions we take before God the Father..

There are three points I picked up in this message this morning that will help us regain our focus and reset our priorities...and this is for men, although women can also benefit as he mentioned neither side.

1. Pursuit - We as men have stopped pursing our wives..Think back to the first few dates where you would stop at nothing in your pursuit of her..I can remember distinctly ( and my memory is nothing to be desired for sure)my unending pursuit of Nicki to win her over, to gain her approval.. Courting her, taking her to dinner, movies, doing fun things together, trying to get her to laugh. Why do we stop pursuing..? Two reasons..One is just what we mentioned above..We take for granted the things we have and now that they are our spouses, we no longer do the things we did while in pursuit.. The other is we do not value our spouses as much as we should...which leads to point #2

2. Supreme Value - It is very easy to pursue that which we perceive the value to be high..Think about this men..We want that promotion, that sell, that whatever and we pursue with an intensity that would marvel many people..and I bet our spouses would agree...that they have at one time or another seen us place things at a "high value" and then charge after them.. We need to make our spouses the "Supreme Value" in our lives and then live like that.. Think of the things that you hold in this regard..Maybe a special gift passed down from generation to generation, maybe an old restored classic, possibly your high end set of golf clubs, or your lawn..each of those garnering your attention to minute details..painstaking attention to keeping it looking like it is brand new or as close to perfection as humanly possible.. CAN YOU IMAGINE how our marriages would benefit from this type of SUPREME VALUE being placed on our spouses.. To give them the attention they so desire, the painstaking details of noticing a slight change in hairstyle, or kind gesture of loving appreciation, or even a wink right in the middle of dinner just to be flirty and fun with the one who you call Wife( or husband)..The one who you chose to enter into a relationship for better or worse, sickness and health, where no man can separate...We need to refocus our attention, our energy, our passion of the Supreme Value on our Spouses

3. Forever - Marriage is forever...there are no backup plans, no plan B's, no alternate courses to take..Marriage is forever and we as men need to make absolutely sure our wives know this down to the smallest deepest fiber of their being..This brings about comfort and security that allows our wives to be the woman we know she can be..but if we are consistently walking on planks that lead to uncertainty about the "forever" part. how can we ever expect our wives to submit to the man as the leader of the home and the spiritual guide. She will hesitate and never fully commit to that because in the back of her mind, she has to hold something back just in case we do something unspeakable like leave the marriage.. Forever means in good times on the mountain tops and in bad times in the deep valleys..It is thru the phases of life that we encounter that strengthen our love, our passion and our desires for one another and the crushing weight of the world we live will not produce a broken & battered relationship, but instead, when the intense heat and pressures of the world surrounds us, it creates a beautiful, radiant diamond...formed by the weight of this world...but produced by the goodness, grace and mercy of our surrendered life to Jesus Christ..

Nicki..You are beautiful flower, one as rare and as delicate as any known to man...and all others are but weeds...amongst your value to me.

I pray that I will never take you for granted and that you hold the designation of "Supreme Value" in my life here on earth...and may I treasure you and always give thanks to God for the Blessing he rendered in my life some 18+ years ago..Forever I am, never will I go..


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